It is possible to shake your head with painful memories of large sums of money lost, and vow on a stack of Bibles to never become foolish enough to participate in a shoot-out with the One-Armed Bandit, but what are you talking about? Maybe, with a little luck, you will be capable of resisting the lure of the machine for a couple of days, or maybe one or two months. But you know damn well that you’ll return for a second chance sooner or later. You shouldn’t let that Bandit win without a struggle, can you? There’s no way.

It’s just a device, that’s all it is, with a “brain” comprised of microchips and wires. You, on contrary, are aPG SLOT living, breathing thing with the ability to think critically and self-reflection. If humanity is to have any chance of surviving the worldwide war against machines that surely will come some day and we’d best be able to defeat the machines. Look at the situation in this historical context , and you’ll discover that it’s far more than an option, but a necessity that you get on the horse as quickly as you can.

Before beginning your noble mission to defend humanity, it would be smart to read some basic knowledge and be equipped with five key tips to success.

You may not know that the slot machine goes under various names across foreign countries. For instance, in the United Kingdom, it is called”a fruit machine” (no jokes about British drag queens Please.) In Australia, the slot is known as a “poker machine” which is more complicated, but what do you expect from a country which has outdoor grills as the title of a tiny girl’s plaything? (Let it sink in for a minute, you’ll get it.)

In the end, conventional American slot machines are coin-operated and contain at least three reels that spin when a lever that is located on the sides of the machine is pulled. The machines include an instrument to verify the currency used to play. The machine usually pays according to patterns of symbols visible when the reels stop.

Okay okay, good enough for the description. Now, on to those suggestions you were promised in the past few paragraphs:

Tip #1

Learn all about each slot machine’s payouts schedule. Two identical slot machines are often wildly different in payouts. This matters, people.

Tip #2

Look for advertised slot machines offering 96-98% paybacks. The majority of casinos have a handful of carousels or banks with high payback slots and that’s where you must play.

Tip #3

Join the Casino Players Club every time you play. Casinos reward players for time and money invested. Even if they don’t get lucky but you can still earn comps like meals, discount hotel rooms and other bonuses.

Tip #4

This should be a no-brainer. However, only play slot machines that you’re able to afford , and only play with money that you are willing to lose. Seriously.

Tip #5

Walk away when you’re losing and you become annoyed. The game of slot machines is meant to be fun, not a source of ulcer-inducing frustration. When it’s no longer fun then go out for drinks and fresh air.

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